How to revive the marriage you’re both killing

My husband and I recently found ourselves on the brink of marriage failure. While clawing our way back to each, other we encountered the single best piece of marital advice we’ve ever heard — “Give each other your first and your best.” Actually, for us, it’s the only advice to ever ring true, right, and doable … More How to revive the marriage you’re both killing

An inequitable division of labor within the home is a leading cause of divorce—it’s time to even the scales

I recently read that an inequitable division of labor within the home is the third leading cause of divorce in our country. Oh, girl. Oh, guy. This does not surprise me. Nor does the fact that this one sentence I wrote seems to have resonated with more of you than anything else I’ve written to … More An inequitable division of labor within the home is a leading cause of divorce—it’s time to even the scales

Healing from trauma is always an inside job—one that takes a lot of help from the outside.

We have to fight for healing. The battle to recover from any kind of trauma is fought one breath, one minute, one half-step onward and upward at a time. While it’s true healing is always and only ever an inside job, we can’t do it without help from the outside. On that note, here are … More Healing from trauma is always an inside job—one that takes a lot of help from the outside.

A spouse’s confession of an affair is often heard like this—”Honey, I shrunk the self-confidence and sense of worth you once had!”

The messages in my inbox detailing the way people struggle to love themselves after being betrayed, flay my heart and summon the bile up from my gut. I alternately fume and lament, weep and rage on behalf of all who’ve been made to feel unworthy of a safe and protected love. All whose self-confidence has … More A spouse’s confession of an affair is often heard like this—”Honey, I shrunk the self-confidence and sense of worth you once had!”

To my sister-in-arms who can barely breathe after the betrayal—your lungs will recover, your heart will heal.

When I was a teenager, I nearly died in a tent fire at a family reunion. The flames from an overturned old-school propane lantern erupted near the door and melted the zipper shut, sealing me and three other family members inside. Luckily, family members outside our burning tent were able to rip it apart and … More To my sister-in-arms who can barely breathe after the betrayal—your lungs will recover, your heart will heal.