When we don’t think we can do it—it’s because we haven’t yet done it. After two years of drinking to numb and spending to feel, I’m tapping out of this ping-pong pairing of self-soothing behaviors that really only serve to make everything worse. For a full year. At least. And I don’t yet know how … More What good is knowing how to accomplish a task if you never start? It’s more important to just begin than it is to know how to finish at the start.
Are you doing that thing again? Where you focus solely on the daunting distance you’ve left to travel. The granite-heavy workload you’ve still to muster. The labor-intensive recovery yet unfinished. Thus you forget to honor and celebrate just how far you’ve already come? The obstacles you’ve already surmounted?
Once my secret was told, she surprised me by saying, “Me too.” And then we wept together. … More Ending your too-long struggle with secrecy and shame: tell your hard story to break the heavy bonds of self-imposed silence and finally begin to heal fully.
I’m asked one question about surviving a spouse’s infidelity more than all the others combined: “How do you stop obsessing about HER?”
Nothing has ever broken my husband quite like breaking me.