Are you doing that thing again?
Where you focus solely on the daunting distance you’ve left to travel.
The granite-heavy workload you’ve still to muster.
The labor-intensive recovery yet unfinished.
Thus you forget to honor and celebrate just how far you’ve already come?
The obstacles you’ve already surmounted?
Continue reading “Feeling irrevocably stuck? You’re likely forgetting to remember to stop and do the most essential step in healing from your trauma.”
Are you like me? Do you also have a secret (or a few) you don’t want to tell anyone? I get it. I do. One reason we choose not to share with others the toxic Twinkies our shame-filled secrets are, is we think we know how people will feel about us if we disclose our darkness. Because of the unsavory way we feel about ourselves over our missteps.
The night my husband confessed his affair to me, I learned volumes about secrets; including why we attempt to keep them and the negative effects of doing so. At 2:00am, too wracked with gut-wrenching guilt over what he knew he needed to tell me, he hadn’t yet been to sleep. The terror of having to tell me what he’d done had wired his brain to static awake. Long before he found the courage to speak, his palpably anxious energy woke me. Upon hearing me stir, he haltingly declared, “Jodie, I have to tell you something.”
Continue reading “Ending your too-long struggle with secrecy and shame: tell your hard story to break the heavy bonds of self-imposed silence and finally begin to heal fully.”
I’m asked one question about surviving a spouse’s infidelity more than all the others combined: “How do you stop obsessing about HER?”
Continue reading “Stuck in an endless obsession over the other woman? You may be allowing her more relevance than she is due.”
You won’t see it coming, the affair. It’ll blindside you, bring you to your knees, and leave you feeling like you’ll never recover from it. Getting up and moving forward, in whichever direction you choose, will be one of the hardest things you ever attempt to do. So incredibly hard, you’ll think it impossible. At least that’s how it was when it happened to me.
Continue reading “Why Attempting to Rebuild Your Marriage After an Affair is a Colossal Show of Courage”