I feel a kinship with the lovely country music singer, Sara Evans—one I really wish I didn’t. Or I wish it was from possessing a similarly powerful singing voice. Or due to also having legs for days.
.
Instead, I feel connected to her via our marriage stories. Though different, they same enough that this talented, gorgeous woman and her story perpetually hang out in the periphery of my thoughts surrounding infidelity.
.
"A Little Bit Stronger” has always been one of my favorite songs. I find my way forward in its powerful lyrics. Curiously, no matter what it is I’m trying to move on from. Hard is hard and trauma is trauma and so blessedly, this song always works to help seal fissures in my heart.
.
Then one day, infidelity became part of my own marriage story and I found myself listening to Sara’s stirring song on repeat for months.
My kinship with Sara is over how I feel lead to use her story to convince you that if you were betrayed, it most certainly wasn’t because of how you look, how much you weigh, or how you dress. Nor was it over a lack of sex appeal or a God-given worthiness to be loved just as you are.
.
Men cheat because something in them is broken. Because their own self-worth is lacking. Because sometimes they don’t think, they just act. Out of selfishness or dissatisfaction with who they themselves have become. Or because they’ve decided their needs aren’t being met and in response, they foolishly take what falsely seems like the easy route towards their desires. There are reasons for days, really. None of which speak to the valuable woman they were already committed to.
.
How any person treats another says everything about them and nothing at all about the person they are mistreating. Their choices for dealing with any discord or discontent are endless—the choice to be unfaithful is but one. A stupid one. A poorly thought out and ill-conceived attempt to regain whatever it is they’re missing in life.
.
My heart throbs and I rage when I hear how badly women struggle with their worth, their sense of beauty—all women are beautiful!—their confidence, and the gifts of their imperfections after being cheated on.
.
Would you just look at Sara—at her ⬇️
My healing whisperer, @glennondoyle, said, “Your wound is probably not your fault. But your healing is your responsibility.”
.
I channel her on days I grow so tired of trying to fully heal. So tired I finally realize I need help. And it’s my responsibility to source that help.
.
Healing is always an inside job, but that doesn’t mean we need to play the martyr and go it alone.
.
We’re not alone in our efforts to get and feel better. Ever. Sometimes the very hardest thing of all is to admit we need help and then ask for it. But we do not cower from hard things, we muddle our way through them.
.
Make the call.
Schedule the appointment.
Get the particular kind of help you need because we need you and we need you whole.
.
And. . . be the kindest to yourself you’ve ever been on those really hard days. K?
.
.
.
#wereallinthistogether #onwardforwardupward #eventhough #insteadofideal #trauma #pain #heartbroken #dothework #askforhelp #relationships #marriage #healing #love #loveyou #loveyourself #bekind #belove #beyou #utterimperfection #lovewarrior #womenempowerment #womensupportwomen #womenhelpingwomen #empoweringwomen
