When we don’t think we can do it—it’s because we haven’t yet done it. After two years of drinking to numb and spending to feel, I’m tapping out of this ping-pong pairing of self-soothing behaviors that really only serve to make everything worse. For a full year. At least. And I don’t yet know how … More What good is knowing how to accomplish a task if you never start? It’s more important to just begin than it is to know how to finish at the start.
I’m very writer-y, but not always very talker-y. When I write, I tip myself upside down, shaking my thoughts loose from the nooks and crannies they’ve wedged into. I empty my brain’s pockets of all the angst I’ve stuffed deep inside. Then I begin to slowly work through the jumbled pile, organizing and editing as … More That first social event without the crutch of booze—uff-da!—and then some.
Once my secret was told, she surprised me by saying, “Me too.” And then we wept together. … More Ending your too-long struggle with secrecy and shame: tell your hard story to break the heavy bonds of self-imposed silence and finally begin to heal fully.
I was 10 years old when my ongoing sexual abuse at the hands of a male relative finally ended. I don’t remember how old I was when he began molesting me, only that I was too young to understand what was happening and what it was called. Or that it was criminal and demented and … More The reason we end our silence and finally disclose our sexual abuse.
I’m asked one question about surviving a spouse’s infidelity more than all the others combined: “How do you stop obsessing about HER?”