Category: Marriage

Inequitable division of labor in marriage and within the home

An inequitable division of labor within the home is a leading cause of divorce—it’s time to even the scales

September 11, 2019

I recently read that an inequitable division of labor within the home is the third leading cause of divorce in our country. Oh, girl. Oh, guy. This does not surprise me. Nor does the fact that this one sentence I wrote seems to have resonated with more of you than anything else I’ve written to … More An inequitable division of labor within the home is a leading cause of divorce—it’s time to even the scales

Utter Imperfection - my husband's response to me writing about infidelity in our marriage

The surprising way my husband views me sharing our marriage story—especially his infidelity—with the whole world

August 5, 2019

Once in a while, someone asks me how Mr. Utter Imperfection feels about me writing and sharing our marriage story, especially his infidelity, so publicly. And I love that. I adore it when someone thinks of him, too. Because very few people wondered after my husband’s well-being like they did mine when our story first … More The surprising way my husband views me sharing our marriage story—especially his infidelity—with the whole world

Utter Imperfection - how to stop trying to buy happiness

Embracing an entire year of no personal spending—what that goal entails along with the why and the how

July 10, 2019

I don’t usually make resolutions, but it’s been an unusual few years for me and my marriage. Three wack years that rendered me resolved to quit using alcohol as a crutch to hobble through life on. And to stop trying to buy happiness, worthiness, and other good feels. Because traditionally, whenever I try to curb my drinking, … More Embracing an entire year of no personal spending—what that goal entails along with the why and the how

Healing from trauma is always an inside job—one that takes a lot of help from the outside.

May 18, 2019

We have to fight for healing. The battle to recover from any kind of trauma is fought one breath, one minute, one half-step onward and upward at a time. While it’s true healing is always and only ever an inside job, we can’t do it without help from the outside. On that note, here are … More Healing from trauma is always an inside job—one that takes a lot of help from the outside.

To my sister-in-arms who can barely breathe after the betrayal—your lungs will recover, your heart will heal.

April 15, 2019

When I was a teenager, I nearly died in a tent fire at a family reunion. The flames from an overturned old-school propane lantern erupted near the door and melted the zipper shut, sealing me and three other family members inside. Luckily, family members outside our burning tent were able to rip it apart and … More To my sister-in-arms who can barely breathe after the betrayal—your lungs will recover, your heart will heal.