Are you doing that thing again?
Where you focus solely on the daunting distance you’ve left to travel.
The granite-heavy workload you’ve still to muster.
The labor-intensive recovery yet unfinished.
Thus you forget to honor and celebrate just how far you’ve already come?
The obstacles you’ve already surmounted?
Continue reading “Feeling irrevocably stuck? You’re likely forgetting to remember to stop and do the most essential step in healing from your trauma.”
Are you like me? Do you also have a secret (or a few) you don’t want to tell anyone? I get it. I do. One reason we choose not to share with others the toxic Twinkies our shame-filled secrets are, is we think we know how people will feel about us if we disclose our darkness. Because of the unsavory way we feel about ourselves over our missteps.
The night my husband confessed his affair to me, I learned volumes about secrets; including why we attempt to keep them and the negative effects of doing so. At 2:00am, too wracked with gut-wrenching guilt over what he knew he needed to tell me, he hadn’t yet been to sleep. The terror of having to tell me what he’d done had wired his brain to static awake. Long before he found the courage to speak, his palpably anxious energy woke me. Upon hearing me stir, he haltingly declared, “Jodie, I have to tell you something.”
Continue reading “Ending your too-long struggle with secrecy and shame: tell your hard story to break the heavy bonds of self-imposed silence and finally begin to heal fully.”
I’m asked one question about surviving a spouse’s infidelity more than all the others combined: “How do you stop obsessing about HER?”
Continue reading “Stuck in an endless obsession over the other woman? You may be allowing her more relevance than she is due.”
I adore looking back through vacation photos, even as soon as we return home from a trip. I smile and nod in cozy remembrance at each one; yep, we did that, yes, that was so much fun, wow, that was way cool! In an instant, I’m wistful and dreamy and in love with the trip all over again. Of course, this is only after I ruthlessly edit and crop, enhance and polish, or put a mob hit on any offending photo. After all, I want the best versions possible of the memories, not the shabby ones.
So when I saw this photo of myself, my immediate inclination was to delete it and then go about my life pretending I’d never seen it. But then I paused.
Continue reading “Does this jet ski make my butt look big? And other dumb things I’ve focused on.”
I feel us slipping back into our old, poorly prioritized ways. While it’s cause for concern, it does not yet cause worry. We’ve been here before and we’ll likely be here again. Being in this disconnected state isn’t the problem, it’s what we do next that could be.
Continue reading “We are not the grave mistakes we make in our marriages, we are more so what we do right after.”