Once in a while, someone asks me how Mr. Utter Imperfection feels about me writing and sharing our marriage story, especially his infidelity, so publicly. And I love that. I adore it when someone thinks of him, too. Because very few people wondered after my husband’s well-being like they did mine when our story first … More The surprising way my husband views me sharing our marriage story—especially his infidelity—with the whole world
I don’t usually make resolutions, but it’s been an unusual few years for me and my marriage. Three wack years that rendered me resolved to quit using alcohol as a crutch to hobble through life on. And to stop trying to buy happiness, worthiness, and other good feels. Because traditionally, whenever I try to curb my drinking, … More Embracing an entire year of no personal spending—what that goal entails along with the why and the how
We have to fight for healing. The battle to recover from any kind of trauma is fought one breath, one minute, one half-step onward and upward at a time. While it’s true healing is always and only ever an inside job, we can’t do it without help from the outside. On that note, here are … More Healing from trauma is always an inside job—one that takes a lot of help from the outside.
The messages in my inbox detailing the way people struggle to love themselves after being betrayed, flay my heart and summon the bile up from my gut. I alternately fume and lament, weep and rage on behalf of all who’ve been made to feel unworthy of a safe and protected love. All whose self-confidence has … More A spouse’s confession of an affair is often heard like this—”Honey, I shrunk the self-confidence and sense of worth you once had!”
When I was a teenager, I nearly died in a tent fire at a family reunion. The flames from an overturned old-school propane lantern erupted near the door and melted the zipper shut, sealing me and three other family members inside. Luckily, family members outside our burning tent were able to rip it apart and … More To my sister-in-arms who can barely breathe after the betrayal—your lungs will recover, your heart will heal.