To Admit Your Regrets Or Not To; That Is The Question

Our personal regrets are powerful in how they work to shape us into the people we want to be. But our accomplishments are even more adept at molding us.

I’ve got an old suitcase bulging at the seams with regret. I don’t lug its oppressive heft around with me on the regular, but I do hold onto it because it’s packed with important reminders of unsavory venues I’ve visited—places I never want to return to.

I’ve never been able to comprehend it when someone insists, “I have no regrets.” I can’t fathom how that can be true. I wonder whether it’s a sentiment possibly born of faulty hindsight. Or perhaps some false bravado. I do understand, though, that we’re better served and better able to serve others by focusing on all that we don’t regret more than all that we do.

Continue reading “To Admit Your Regrets Or Not To; That Is The Question”

Feeling irrevocably stuck? You’re likely forgetting to remember to stop and do the most essential step in healing from your trauma.

Are you doing that thing again?

Where you focus solely on the daunting distance you’ve left to travel.
The granite-heavy workload you’ve still to muster.
The labor-intensive recovery yet unfinished.
Thus you forget to honor and celebrate just how far you’ve already come?
The obstacles you’ve already surmounted?

Continue reading “Feeling irrevocably stuck? You’re likely forgetting to remember to stop and do the most essential step in healing from your trauma.”

No Longer Sorry: A Long Overdue New Rally Cry For The Warrior In Each Of Us

I typically tell someone I’m sorry for something 3 to 4 times a day. Lately, though, I catch myself before I apologize. Because I’ve realized in truth I’m not sorry, not even at all, and I’m not even sorry I’m not sorry, either.

Continue reading “No Longer Sorry: A Long Overdue New Rally Cry For The Warrior In Each Of Us”

What’s the best way to end a friendship? Asking for a friend.

It had become obvious our friendship had suffered a significant setback, but I had no idea why. So I asked my friend. She told me nothing was wrong, if anything, it was her, not me. She said she’d just been so busy and under so much stress and she knew she’d been a terrible friend. She insisted she loved me so much and would try hard to show it better and she was so sorry she’d made me feel this way.

In effect, she gave me the runaround. I know it was the runaround because after that conversation things just got worse.

Continue reading “What’s the best way to end a friendship? Asking for a friend.”

Does this jet ski make my butt look big? And other dumb things I’ve focused on.

I adore looking back through vacation photos, even as soon as we return home from a trip. I smile and nod in cozy remembrance at each one; yep, we did that, yes, that was so much fun, wow, that was way cool! In an instant, I’m wistful and dreamy and in love with the trip all over again. Of course, this is only after I ruthlessly edit and crop, enhance and polish, or put a mob hit on any offending photo. After all, I want the best versions possible of the memories, not the shabby ones.

So when I saw this photo of myself, my immediate inclination was to delete it and then go about my life pretending I’d never seen it. But then I paused.

Continue reading “Does this jet ski make my butt look big? And other dumb things I’ve focused on.”