I recently read that an inequitable division of labor within the home is the third leading cause of divorce in our country. Oh, girl. Oh, guy. This does not surprise me. Nor does the fact that this one sentence I wrote seems to have resonated with more of you than anything else I’ve written to … More An inequitable division of labor within the home is a leading cause of divorce—it’s time to even the scales
Once in a while, someone asks me how Mr. Utter Imperfection feels about me writing and sharing our marriage story, especially his infidelity, so publicly. And I love that. I adore it when someone thinks of him, too. Because very few people wondered after my husband’s well-being like they did mine when our story first … More The surprising way my husband views me sharing our marriage story—especially his infidelity—with the whole world
I don’t usually make resolutions, but it’s been an unusual few years for me and my marriage. Three wack years that rendered me resolved to quit using alcohol as a crutch to hobble through life on. And to stop trying to buy happiness, worthiness, and other good feels. Because traditionally, whenever I try to curb my drinking, … More Embracing an entire year of no personal spending—what that goal entails along with the why and the how
We have to fight for healing. The battle to recover from any kind of trauma is fought one breath, one minute, one half-step onward and upward at a time. While it’s true healing is always and only ever an inside job, we can’t do it without help from the outside. On that note, here are … More Healing from trauma is always an inside job—one that takes a lot of help from the outside.
The messages in my inbox detailing the way people struggle to love themselves after being betrayed, flay my heart and summon the bile up from my gut. I alternately fume and lament, weep and rage on behalf of all who’ve been made to feel unworthy of a safe and protected love. All whose self-confidence has … More A spouse’s confession of an affair is often heard like this—”Honey, I shrunk the self-confidence and sense of worth you once had!”