Marriage is. . .
Just leave me alone! Please don’t leave me.
You make me laugh and you fill me with sorrow.
Would you just shut up? Talk to me, please.
Marriage isn’t happily ever after, it’s. . .
What in the hell is wrong with you? You’re perfect for me.
You can be so gross but damn, you’re sexy.
Accept my limitations and help me to surpass them.
I love the feel of your touch. Don’t touch me!
Marriage isn’t a carefully crafted romantic comedy, it’s. . .
What were you thinking? What a great idea!
Never stop doing that for me. Don’t ever do that to me again.
Can you forgive me and can you blame me?
What are we going to do now? There’s always a way forward.
Marriage isn’t a curated highlight reel, it’s. . .
You totally turn me on and you repulse me completely.
I’m so sorry and whoops, I think I did it again.
You can’t change me but your love will.
I wish you were different. I love who you are.
Marriage isn’t what you thought it would be, it’s. . .
You’re holding me back. You propel me forward.
Hot, steamy sex and the cold shoulder.
Listen to me, don’t fix me.
Surprise!!! And the same old same old.
Marriage isn’t smooth sailing from one port to another, it’s. . .
Every ounce of me wants to slap you. Nobody can calm me like you do.
You let me down. You lift me up.
Love me like this, not like that.
You bring out the best in me. You feel safe enough to show me your worst.
Marriage isn’t what you think you see happening next door, it’s. . .
Routine, boring, monotony through ever-changing seasons.
It’s your turn, damn it! Here, hon, let me do that for you.
I love your quirks but your tics drive me crazy.
You know me so well. You’re not paying attention.
Marriage is happily sometimes after and nowhere near perfect—just utterly worth it.