The reason we end our silence and finally disclose our sexual abuse.

I was 10 years old when my ongoing sexual abuse at the hands of a male relative finally ended. I don’t remember how old I was when he began molesting me, only that I was too young to understand what was happening and what it was called. Or that it was criminal and demented and anything but ok.

My abuse ended not because I spoke up and told someone what was happening to me, but because my abuser was caught abusing another little girl. I so wish 6, 7, 8, or 9 years old me had been able to speak up, to put an end to the damage he was doing before he could do it to another.

I don’t recall the specific tactics my molester used to ensure I wouldn’t talk. Only that they worked for years. Had I not been asked point blank if he had touched me or hurt me I’m not sure if I ever would have disclosed the abuse of my own volition.

And here’s why.

Continue reading “The reason we end our silence and finally disclose our sexual abuse.”

Stuck in an endless obsession over the other woman? You may be allowing her more relevance than she is due.

I’m asked one question about surviving a spouse’s infidelity more than all the others combined: “How do you stop obsessing about HER?”

Continue reading “Stuck in an endless obsession over the other woman? You may be allowing her more relevance than she is due.”