Just a girl and her dad and their early morning serious sides. Yesterday, we dropped her off at kindergarten and the look in her eyes clenched our hearts with its tiny fists and pleaded with us not to leave her there. Today, the look in her eyes keeps us at a distance and tells us she wants to go. And this is just the way of it.
There are parts of my life story I detest and wish I could rewrite. It’s further insult on top of injury that these parts were written for me, against my will. And though I can’t edit them to make them prettier or more palatable, I can write the rest, the endings, the rebuttals. And I can write in hopes of protecting all of our children.
I’m just over here toiling away, trying to learn what works and what doesn’t in life. What doesn’t work is jealousy. I just faced ANOTHER bout of it because it’s a condition I still don’t have an immunity to. And because I am a slow learner. That too.
Secrecy + shame = silence. That is one dangerous equation. And all too common in this world. There’s an alternative solution though. It’s telling our truths. It’s not an easy solution to work out. The truth is it’s damn hard. The whole truth is it’s worth the excruciating effort.
If it’s early days for you on the pitch black, lonely road back from infidelity you’re likely slogging through a soupy fog and can’t see two inches in front of your face. You may be feeling weak, for choosing to stay, or to leave, though there is only fierce strength and courage in either decision. I’m not aware of an easy button available for either choice. But this perspective might shine a light just far enough ahead and just bright enough to make it all the way home by. Continue reading “When Trust Is Shattered In A Marriage, The Way Back To It May Surprise You”